Keeping the Balance amongst Siblings

It’s one of those challenges that all families affected by a Congenital Heart Defects (CHD) face…how to keep the balance amongst siblings. There are so many issues that come into play when considering how to treat your children who are not afflicted with a CHD. There’s a fine line – you don’t want to burden them with too many responsibilities or make them feel less important, yet you also don’t want to spoil them to overcompensate for the fact that so much attention is paid to their ill sibling. How do you handle it? Where do you turn for advice? We’ve compiled some tips and advice that was gathered from other parents, online resources, as well as publications by child psychologists.

· While it is very important that all siblings be informed about your family’s specific CHD situation, it’s important to set an example that it’s not something we have to dwell on every day. All children want to live as normal a life as possible. So, by educating your children about CHD rather than making it a daily focus, you’ll be off to a great start in establishing a balance amongst your children and your entire family as well.

· Allow your children who do not have a CHD to choose a specific responsibility in order to empower them. This will let them know that you value their help yet you won’t be burdening them with too many expectations. For example, maybe a sibling can simply be a reading buddy for your child with a CHD.

· Remember to let all your children know how much you appreciate their help. If they happen to be too young to actually be of any significant help at the moment, you can always tell them how much you appreciate their understanding and patience when you have to assist or focus on their sibling who is sick.

· Although it can be tempting for many parents, avoid spoiling your other children in an effort to make up for the attention you feel you’re giving your child with a CHD. Spoiling them can include giving an abundance of material items, too much attention, or even treating them with kid gloves as though they’re too fragile to handle your family’s situation. They will grow up with a sense of entitlement or even resentment. Kids are smart – they will eventually realize why you’re spoiling them and will in many cases feel like they didn’t truly earn the things you gave them or the over-attentiveness you showed them.

· Encourage your children to express their feelings. Talking can be such a powerful tool when it comes to children. It doesn’t matter their age – you can always adjust your conversations by using developmentally appropriate language to answer their questions or respond to their statements. Be truthful yet simple and to the point with your children. One story we came across involved an older sibling who asked why his little brother was sick; he thought he did something wrong. In this situation, it was suggested that the parents have a real conversation with explanations that were simple and truthful. For example, you might say “You didn’t do anything wrong; your brother just has a special heart. We’re all special in our own ways.” Sometimes, it may seem impossible to discuss CHD related topics with your children; however, it’s much wiser to at least let them know you heard them and are willing to try a discussion rather than simply changing the subject.

At the end of each day, this whole issue does tend to feel like quite the balancing act. However, it is so important to make a conscious effort to remember to think about how you’re treating all your children. Do they feel equally important? Is one child feeling neglected or perhaps, on the other hand, that you’re actually being over-attentive to him/her? These are questions we can stop and ask ourselves each day to try to keep that balance and ensure that our children sense that balance amongst their sibling relationships.

It's almost CHD Awareness Month!

What are you doing to spread the word about CHD, its warning signs, its long term effects and the little known facts about its frequency? We'd love to hear!


Traci Lisa's daughter, Cassidy, was born with Tetralogy of Fallot w/ Pulmonary Atresia. This heart mom is spreading the word about CHD through her talent... making awareness jewelry. Check it out!

Share your efforts with us and spread the word. February is National CHD month. What can you do to save a life?!

Health care system holds heart patients hostage

Check out ABC News' Hostages Dying for Healthcare Reform article... it sounds just like my family, does it sound like yours?

Some takeaways from the article:

• Many of us are captive to our big company insurance plans - no other companies will take us, and if we lapse in our policies, we're out of luck due to pre-existing conditions.
• In 2005, 60% of all bankruptcies were related to medical expenses. Wonder what it is now that the recession is in full swing...
  
• Heart conditions account for $123 billion in health expenses a year.

We may not agree within our community of heart warriors what the best solution is for health care reform, but we have all, likely, lived first-hand the need for change. Take a moment to write your congressional representative and share your story with them.

Treatments Hard to Come By...

Take a peak at this entry on the Wall Street Journal blog... it doesn't come as a surprise to patients and families of CHD patients, but it's news all the same:

There is not enough research into CHDs.

What's wrong, however, is the statement that this problem is too small for companies to invest research in. With 1 in 120 (approximately) kids born with heart defects, and a large percentage of those kids needing intervention, you can bet it's big enough to pay attention to.

The article does highlight, though, that there is hope in terms of new research. According to WSJ, the NIH is studying treatments in children with certain heart conditions and the American College of Cardiology is launching a catheter registry that aims to help inform doctors who treat kids. And at least one heart device for kids appears to be on the way: Medtronic’s experimental heart valve for both children and adults who had heart defects at birth.

Baby steps, but we can get there!

Never Give Up

An article published by Associated Press today left me dumbfounded. It reminded me to never, ever give up hope. You've GOT to read this article in its entirety (see summary below). See if you feel the same...

British girl's heart heals itself after transplant

Excerpted from Maria Cheng, Ap Medical Writer – Tue Jul 14, 12:40 am ET

In 1994, when Hannah Clark was eight months old, she developed severe heart failure and doctors put her on a waiting list to get a new heart. But Clark's heart difficulties caused problems with her lungs as well. To avoid a risky heart/lung transplant, doctors took a chance at a new and novel idea.

Sir Magdi Yacoub of Imperial College London thought that said that if Clark's heart was given a time-out, it might be able to recover on its own. So in 1995, Yacoub and others grafted a donor heart from a 5-month-old directly onto Clark's own heart. After four and a half years, both hearts were working fine, so Yacoub and colleagues decided not to take out the extra heart.

However, the powerful anti-rejection drugs Clark was taking caused cancer, which led to chemotherapy. Even when doctors lowered the doses of drugs to suppress Clark's immune system, the cancer spread, and Clark's body eventually rejected the donor heart.

In February 2006, doctors removed Clark's donor heart. Luckily, by that time, Clark's own heart seemed to have fully recovered. Since then, Clark — now 16 years old — has started playing sports, gotten a part-time job, and plans to go back to school in September.

At the moment, doctors aren't sure how that regeneration happens. Some think there are a small number of stem cells in the heart, which may somehow be triggered in crisis situations to heal damaged tissue.

Granted, Hannah's case is a rare and miraculous one, but it does give us a window of hope for the future!

Side note - even if this were to become an option for treatment in the future, there is a serious shortage of donor organs available for such transplants. Consider becoming an organ donor today, and asking your loved ones to do the same!

Great News: Scientists ID'd Heart Stem Cells!

Source: Constance Holden, ScienceNOW Daily News
2 July 2009

I was thrilled to read today that scientists have finally identified the cardiac stem cells that create all of the major cell types in the human heart. In recent years, scientists identified these cells in embryotic mice, but now a team at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston have found these same cells (that express the protein Islet 1) in humans. The team reports its work in Nature.

What does this mean? That researchers are one step closer to creating new cardiac stem cells in the heart's major cell types: heart muscle (cardiomyocytes), smooth muscle, and blood vessel lining (endothelium).

Chien, the researcher who made this astounding discovery, cautions that these primordial stem cells could not be used for therapy because they could develop into undesired cell types, but they could be used for disease modeling and drug screening and - most importantly to those of us affected by CHD - further research on congenital heart malformations. Chien speculates that CHD's "may be a stem cell disease" because Islet 1 cells are clustered in areas that are "hot spots" for heart defects.

The future I hope it holds for us? The possibility of growing human "heart parts" (such as strips of muscle or a valve) to assist CHD survivors.

Physical Restriction after Fontan: How do You Know?

A recent article in the American Heart Journal from researchers at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto questions the use of physical activity restrictions for children after undergoing the Fontan operation. In the abstract online, the researchers studied how the information regarding restrictions are conveyed from the cardiologist, parent and in the medical charts - often these three sources disagree. Regardless of the cardiologist reported restrictions, 70% of parents reported that their child's activity was restricted. Parents and cardiologists report the same body contact restrictions, but differ for exertion and competition restrictions. Medical charts reflect competitive sport, but not body contact or exertion restrictions. So, what to do if you're a parent?

This study suggests that parents are left with uncertainty about physical activity, and rightly so, given the significant variance in the sources of information they receive.Primary care doctors are often not included in the loop (medical records don't reflect the restrictions for exertion and body contact).

Cardiologists need to work to ensure that activity restrictions are accurately conveyed, which will enable parents and primary care providers to confidently encourage the active lifestyles. And parents, talk to your cardiologists - don't take the advice of the primary doctor (though he or she may be correct). While your primary care physician is likely a wonderful, well rounded person, the specialist is better able to answer the questions specific to your child's condition.